Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What did I say?

I was chatting with a new guy today, on Grindr. He's another married bi guy, who plays on the side. He lives somewhat close to where I work. He likes the same things I do, described himself as passionate, liking to kiss, massage, roll around, etc.

I was at work while we were having this conversation. Lately it seems like I do whatever I can to avoid actually working. But, inevitably, there are distractions. Our conversation is slow, intermittent, lasts for a couple of hours. We exchanged a couple of pics. Even face pics, which I am actually getting more comfortable doing. 

I think to myself, this has the potential to be something good. But I always try to not get ahead of myself. I keep out casual, cracking jokes and paying compliments. One of his pics showed a nice, lightly hairy, flat stomach, not to mention a nice package, that really turned me on. 

So I decide to take the next step. All the signs were there. He flattered me, dropped innuendos, stated that it was "safer" that we were both married. So I ask if he would be willing to meet up sometime. I didn't even specify if that meant meeting for coffee, or in a public restroom. I turned away from my phone to answer a question from a coworker, and when I turned back, he was gone. 

He didn't just log off. He blocked me. His profile disappeared from my screen. At first I didn't realize what happened. That I screwed something up. Then I thought Grindr was screwing up, like that's never happened before. I even rebooted my phone. Nope, everything was working fine. He was just gone. 

I wish I knew what I said, or what I did, to scare him off. I'm no stranger to blocking people. I sometimes can spend hours on Grindr just blocking people. But never in the middle of conversation. No matter what! That's just rude! I block people who clearly state in there profile that their interest are different than mine, ie. "Looking for a relationship". Or those that either I've tried sparking up a conversation and gotten no response, or I've seen on my screen for weeks and they've never tried to start a conversation with me. Space is limited after all. 

So now I will always wonder what I did. It's not like I can call him up and ask. Maybe he's just technologically illiterate and he doesn't know what he did. Yeah, I bet that's it. It must be, there's no other logical explanation. ;)


  1. Well, Jay. I go by Jay2 sometimes...just setting the record straight.
    I am not on GRNDR, but on A4A, I find some guys are just as inconsiderate. I have never 'bugged' anyone who said ...not interested...leave. Who would bother. But I have had guys chat for hours and then just disappear [still on screen, but no response]. It used to bother me, but now, I just ignore it. Not sure what I did or did not do, but something didn't work.
    I actually believe more times than not, that the guy is finally getting to having to make a small commitment, and can't. I don't get that either, but ....

  2. Problem is you will never know why he disappeared so why sweat it. Maybe interupted unexpectedly or more important issues arose. As far as posting, its nice as a reader to find something new and interesting to read, but it doesn't have to be every day. I think a once a week post is important to keep reader interest. Aa for the other blogs, forget them, you said you were doing this for you. hal

  3. It's happened to most everyone at one time or another, so it's nothing about you, it the other guy.

    I've personally disappeared on someone, but it was because I was interrupted on my end. Nothing kills the mood more than someone walking in on you while your pants are around your ankles, and your cock is in your hand, and it's not like porn where they get that look in their eyes and join in. It's more like OMG, WTF are you doing, and they run out of the room. After that, everything gets shut down, you wonder if your doing the right thing, blah, blah, blah, and your back on at a later date, with a different profile.

    Yes, this actually happened, luckily I had a weird and yet valid reason to be mostly naked in my office at the end of the day.

  4. I can't see how this guy was interrupted unexpectedly, because he actually blocked me. That's an extra stop. He didn't just log off, or stop responding, he blocked me. But, Hal, I have moved on. I didn't "really" bother me, I was just struck by it. I've been interrupted and had to stop responding on more than one occasion, because I have to hide all this shit from everyone around me. But I'd go back afterwards and explain. If I weren't interested in the first place, I'd just say so. But really, I'm over it.

    Amtop, you absolutely have to tell me your weird and yet valid reason to be naked in your office! Seriously, at work? Too funny!!

  5. Get used to it. This will happen a lot. Men are flakey. I'm not using GRINDR much anymore, but I used to quite a bit. A4A is pretty much the same thing (but more info in the profiles and more/better pics). I've been blocked out of the blue - in the middle of a conversation before. I've had people suggest we meet - set up a time and then delete their profile (on A4A) when I asked for an address. What I think happened (what I like to think when it happens to me, at least) is that he's playing. He's married. He's flirting with the idea of messing around with a guy. When you said "hey, let's meet!" he freaked the fuck out. It became all to real for him. He's not at the same place mentally that you are. Don't sweat it. This is his problem, not yours. You did nothing wrong.