Tuesday, August 16, 2011

FWB, FB, or Random Hookups?

Something I've been thinking about lately.  Now that I've gotten my feet wet, er, I mean, now that I've gotten my dick wet, what's the ideal situation for me?  Should I be lookin' for a Fuck Buddy (FB), or a Friend with Benefits (FWB)?  Or should I just stick to random hookups?

What's the difference between a Fuck Buddy and a FWB?  That's another question I've been pondering.  IMHO, the difference is in the relationship.  I fuck buddy is someone that I get together with just to fuck.  Not that I've crossed that bridge yet, but you get the idea.  There's no need to hang out with a fuck buddy unless you're gonna fuck, or suck, or whatever.  You're not friends.  But a Friend with Benefits is someone that you would hang out with, just to hang out.  Sex doesn't always have to be the primary goal.

Now, I know myself.  At least I like to think I do.  I know that I am more apt to look for a friend than a fuck buddy.  But to be honest, there's an emotional aspect to a FWB of which I think I'd steer clear.  Last thing I need, at this stage of my journey, is to get too attached to someone.

I've already hooked up with one guy twice.  That has the ingredients for a fuck buddy.  I know that I have no desire to hang out with the guy.  When I'm there, I am there for one thing only.  When I'm done, I'm gone.  It's become obvious that this guy isn't enough, though.  I might be turning into a Grindr addict, or a slut.  Even though I know that I could hook up with this guy when I need it, I am still logged into Grindr, or another equally convenient mobile app, whenever possible.  So maybe it's the random hookups that I'm going for?  Or maybe I need more than one fuck buddy.

The other guy, my second hookup, could easily become my FWB.  When I went to his house, I really wasn't expecting a blowjob.  I could see myself just hanging out with this guy, maybe even introducing him to my wife as a friend.  Maybe that's why I haven't made any real effort to find time to meet, because I know that it will go nowhere good.


  1. I think your over thinking it. Don't worry about making any long term decisions based on a few hook ups. Friends, FWB and anything else is only going to be recognized after you've already pretty much established them.

  2. You're probably right, amtop, but I sure enjoy thinking about it! :)

  3. You're right to be cautious about the emotional attachment that can develop in a FWB situation. Been there - and can hurt like hell. FBs are nice, but I do find myself getting tired of the relationship after a while and moving on. Then I go through a "mini" slut phase while I look for a new FB (or two or three FBs). My situation is different than yours, and ultimately I'm looking for a male partner, but in the mean time I'm good with Mr. Right Now.