My attraction to men caused me to doubt myself, my sexuality, for many years. It made me force the woman I love to wait 7 years before finally getting married. There were times, during my early teens, late teens, early twenties, when I was convinced that I was gay. Reality is that I am who I am, regardless of the label I choose, or you choose, to put on me. Intellectually, I've always known that. But otherwise, it took some time to come to terms.
Obviously my own feelings and my own experiences have shaped my perspective. I've never been able to truly understand why there is so much hate towards homosexuality. Or why a person should feel ashamed, feel hate at themselves, for have homosexual feelings. I am pretty open to everything, and I guess that makes me lucky.
My own doubts weren't because I didn't like myself, or couldn't own up to being gay. I've always known that my family and friends would support me if I chose to come out. The real obstacle for me was my shyness. I just had a hard time meeting new people. And, in my earlier life, it was impossible to hit on anyone. Once I was friends with someone, I was outgoing, funny, sarcastic, etc. But until then, I did what I could to be invisible. The girls I've dated, and the one I married, were much more outgoing than I was. If I met a confident gay man who pursued me, who knows how different my life may be today. But, that doesn't mean I love my wife any less.