Happy New Year!

Just like so many others, I am extremely grateful that the fuckwad that was this past year, 2020, is over. But, I am under no disillusions that turning to a new calendar will actually make anything better. We have a lot to look forward to, a new President and Administration, several vaccines, schools and businesses eventually reopening. We still have a long ways to go, though. The pandemic is not going to disappear overnight. The divisions between us Americans are not just going to heal themselves. The atrocities in the world will keep happening. All of this made so much worse in my mind be the fact that I can't just escape to go see a movie when I want to, I can't go hang out with friends, and I can't just go find a dick to suck.

I was just telling a friend how much I've wanted to sit down and write, but just having been able to do so. I'm not sure if it's a lack of motivation, a lack of privacy, or a lack of anything compelling to say. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized that maybe all I need to do is to just force myself into it.  Just write anything, let's see what happens.  So, here is what happens...

When it comes to this blog, I still feel the urge to entertain you all, the reader. I so enjoyed the community this blog has brought, though I've done next to nothing to nurture it. For that I apologize. The need to entertain you, to only write when I have something compelling to say, or some spunk-worthy story to share, has been one of my roadblocks. I know, logically, that is not a reason to not write. I started this blog before I met all of you, and I started it for myself.  This is my space to get thoughts out of my head, a place to vent and to place to fantasize. I'm sure that I would still get value out of this even if all my readers evaporated. So, why don't I write even when the content is boring? Maybe I'm my own harshest critic.

Another roadblock is that I've never been a fan of repetition. So, if someone else has already written a Happy New Year, or "Fuck 2020", blog entry, I have no desire to do so myself. This probably is tied into my need to be entertaining, or at least not boring. I wouldn't want to appear as a duplicate of someone else, I want to be unique. I want to provide some insight or viewpoint that perhaps no one has thought of before. I don't want to start another post by saying how I don't want to start a post with a comment about how long it's been since I've written a post. That's probably the reason I'm not very good at dirty talk during sex. How many times can I say, "Oh yeah, suck that dick", before it gets old? Or, "Oh yeah, your mouth/ass/pussy feels so good"? I absolutely cannot repeat anything my partner has already said. I think that sometimes, in writing, dirty talk, even sexting, my mind gets fixated on what I can't say, it becomes unable to think of anything new.

It's something that I need to work on.  I know that I am generally happier when I am able to express myself.  Just like sex is usually hotter and better when I am able to be verbal.  This blog is one of the few spaces I have to express this side of me. So, hear I am, writing about much of  nothing at all, even if it is boring.  If you decide to comment, please be kind.

I did want to say one thing before I go, in regards to my post regarding incest. I ended up deleting a couple of comments and turning off commenting all together, not because I am uninterested in what you have to say, but because I think I may have been misunderstood. I have absolutely no desire to ever do anything with a minor, or with anyone without consent.  Maybe this deserves a blog post all in itself but then I worry about making a bigger issue out of something than what's needed. Consent is the be all and end all of any situation that I might consider, fantasize about, or participate in.  And the truth for me is that children are unable to consent.  My post was about the erotic nature of discussing another person kink, and my own feelings regarding the relationship I wished I had had with my father.

If you made it this far in my post, I thank you. I know I've said this several times but I don't believe you can know how much I've appreciated you, the reader, and this community that I've been able to share my life with.  Happy New Year to all of year, and may this year be everything that the last one wasn't.