Return to voyeurism

Oddly enough, one of the things that has kept me from writing lately is that I don't want to start out my next blog post with something like, "Wow, it's been so long since I've blogged...." along with some excuse as to why I have been away. I've known for some time now that writing is a coping tool I commonly used, but I've been unable to come up with an original opener to my next post, so I kept putting it off. And now, here we are.

Wow, it's been so long since I've blogged. I joined this blogging community when I reached the point, in my own mind, where I could no longer deny myself what I felt I needed. And, I used this community to shore up my nerve to actually make what I wanted to happen, happen. I think my writing started to wane when my activities become more mundane and less inspiring. It only makes sense that I come back to this community now, when everything that is going on in the world has interrupted all of my routines, mundane or not, and I haven't quit figured out how to cope.

I can't be the only one experiencing the unexpected consequences of switching from working in an office to working from home. I no longer have any of the freedom that I once enjoyed. But more than that, given the current circumstances, there is no way to justify spending time with anyone, sexually or otherwise, that exist outside my own bubble. So, I'll just say it, I miss dick.

I miss my circle of buddies that I could meet up with and we'd get each other off. I miss the random opportunities to suck a dick, or the offers from others to suck my dick. I miss the conversations with others like me, whether those were just friendly chats with like-minded guys, or if they led to something more. I mourn the loss of my sexual life. I even miss the privacy to explore that world in my own home, given that I am sheltered-in-place with the same people day in and day out, with no private spaces. Even this post has be written in chunks as I can steal away time to myself, without wandering eyes looking over my shoulder.

I miss that feeling of a rock solid cock covered is soft, velvety, flesh as it slowly pushes past my lips and slides across my tongue. I miss the heat I feel in my hand when I grab that hard dick for the first time. I miss exploring a dude's mouth, his neck, his chest, his groin, his ass, as we slowly undress each other. I miss the way one of my buddies will gasp when my tongue and teeth play with his nipple. And, I miss the way my dick twitches as it finds it's way down a nice warm throat, with a playful tongue swirling around it.

In all things, I am constantly aware of how good I have it. I have a home, I have a support system, and I have little to complain about except the loss of control and the loss of my secret private life. I'm not one to complain, but I have no one else to share these thoughts with except you, my like-minded readers. I have taken to spending what little spare private time I have to read blog posts and subreddits, and checking various apps for new messages and profiles. In a way, it's a return to life before I 'crossed the line', where I was the ultimate voyeur, always watching and never participating. Who knows how long this will last. Who knows what the new normal looks like once the main threat has passed.