Wednesday, June 29, 2011


OK, so maybe not appropriate for my very first post, in my first public blog, but I am gonna go there anyway. What the hell?!? I finally make up my mind, get up the courage, grow balls, and decide that I am gonna do it. Despite all my fears, and my shyness, I am going to hookup with another dude. Maybe even 2 of 'em! I'd been talking with a guy, who's partnered, for a couple of weeks. He's been egging me on, saying that they'd take it easy on me, trying to get me to come over. Today, I finally decide to do it, and what happens? Oh, sorry, Soandso is not in the mood. WTF!

I was gracious, made some crack about just going home and taking care of myself. Even promised some pics. You know, because I'm a nice guy. But seriously, I was pissed.

So I decided to take advantage of my new courage and see what else was out there. I had at least two other guys, both on grindr, saying that wanted to be my first. I checked to see if they were online. One of them was, so I sent a message. Nothing. I waited a little longer, still nothing. I refresh and the guy is offline. So I look for the other, not online. Shit! I can't believe that I finally mustered some courage, and nothing.

What am I doing instead? Well, I am currently logged into Grindr, Growlr, and Scruff! LOL. I doubt anyone is gonna pop up and say the right things to get me to come over. Because, in the end, I have to feel at least a little bit comfortable with the guy. No way after a few chats with a brand new stranger is anything gonna happen. Really, what am I doing instead? I started this blog.

I've been headed down this road for years. With time, getting a little bit closer to actually doing something with another guy. Stroke, suck, lick, fuck, who knows. But I'm gonna write about it. I have another blog, one that's more like my journal. It's not public, and accessible by me. In it I write about everything that is going on in my life.

This blog will be about one thing, and one thing only. My thoughts, struggles, accomplishments, in the pursuit of a sex life with men.


  1. congratulations jay on starting your blog. mind if i come along for the ride?

    wow! your first follower! i'm sure i'm just the first of many more. good luck!


  2. A great start, Jay. I'll be keeping tabs!

  3. Hey Jay, love your blog. Hot pics and true life stories. Been married 39 yrs and bi for the past 25 years. Wife doesn't have a clue. If I had it all to do over think I would have figured out my sexuality much earlier. Tough road to travel.

  4. Thanks Guys! Never would have thought I get some attention this quickly! And Anonymous, yes it's a tough road, but I am gonna do my best to enjoy it.

  5. Jay,

    How strange. I'e had my blog since 1007, and literally minutes ago, I updated my "Who am I?" page by actually answering the questions, "Who am I?" and, "How did this all start?" If you get a chance, check it out at:

    But beyond that, I commend you (too) by finding your own voice. I never expected a single person to ever read my blog. Four years later, the traffic (and relationships developed) have been mind-boggling. Wishing you all the best and a big hug. Just be you. No one can fault you for that.



  6. Thank Alain,
    How funny, your blog is the only one I have come across so far that is blocked at my work! I will have to check it out when I get home.