I'm not sure how this post will be received, but a recent exchange with a newfound friend has emboldened me to write it. I won't know if I'll actually post it until it's done.
I've been fixated, lately, on the taboo subject of father/son nudity and incest. It all started with a chat I having with a complete stranger on a hookup app. The guy's profile name described him as a Dad, and the details revealed that he was heavily into exhibitionism and voyeurism. Loyal readers of my blog know that I share those interests. We're chatting, exchanging the normal pleasantries and interests. He mentions that he's been to a nearby nude beach, and I'm riveted. He's sharing about some of his experiences, and I'm drinking it all down like a cool glass of water.
The conversation shifts to the fact that we're both dads, that we both have sons. I don't know how we got on this subject, but I start sharing my desire to ensure that my son develops a healthy love and respect for his body without shame, and my desire to always be open and honest with him about anything. Whkattk from Big Whack Attack would be proud. I talk about how proud I am of my son. About how we are not ashamed to be nude in our home. And about how I look forward to all of those conversations that so many other parents I know dread.
Exhibitionist Daddy echos my feelings. He explains how they are pretty much nudists at home. His son is older than mine, and he shares how they have already began having those types of conversations. In his home, they take it a step further than mine where they're pretty much always naked. In my home, we sleep naked and we don't shy away from each other when getting ready for bed, getting up in the morning, showering dressing, etc. But, we don't hang out nude just because.
The conversation is all innocent enough.
Eventually, it shifts back to being sexual. We talk about enjoying the same bathhouse. About what we might do to each other at said bathhouse. I tell him I'd love to have him suck my cock while I motion other guys to come up and fuck him. And he's loving it. He's talk about how much he likes group action in the video room. Then he says that he'd love to have me come to the house. We could hang out naked on the deck in the sun, have some fun, drink some drinks, etc. All of this is enticing. He lives further away than what would make this an actual possibility, but I'm enjoying the fantasy. "Naked Saturday" he calls it.
He adds, "Three of us in the buff". That's when it dawns on me that it wouldn't be just the two of us. He's suggesting that I come hang out with him and his son, for "Naked Saturday". His son has not reached the age of consent.
My heart starts racing.
I have doubts about my assumptions, so I play along and ask, "Me, you, and your son?". "Yeah", he replies, "Or in shorts". I press on, "Does that ever get awkward? Having company hang out in the buff along with your son?". I add something about how I am not judging, just trying to understand. His reply was that he had two guys hang out before and that it was great. And he tells me to say or ask whatever I want, no judgement taken.
"What do you do when it gets sexual?" I ask.
"Go to my room", he answers.
"I think I'd be hard the entire time and not doing a good job resisting the urge to grab your cock", I add.
"We all would be." He replies.
I missed the text where he asks, "Would you want to be in the open?", and when I read it, my heart starts pounding in my chest and I'm getting flush.
All of this is taking place while I am sitting at my desk at work, by the way.
"What do you mean by 'Would you wanna be in the open'?" I ask.
"Play with me in the living room", he answers.
"With your son in the room?"
"Potentially"
"The idea is exciting, but is also on the edge of taboo."
He backs off then, says that we should meet at the bathhouse so that I can feed him my cum. I, immediately, regret my text. I didn't want the conversation to end yet. I haven't had this kind of tingly feeling in a long time, but I really don't know what it means.
"Ah, but I have so many questions now!" I reply. He eggs me on, so I start to ask. He explains that a buddy of his hung out at his house, the buddy started to blow the dad, and the son left to his room. I ask if the son watched before he left. But, before he answered that question he tells me that the 2nd guy hit it off with his son, and the son gave this guy head. Then he answered my question, yes, the son watched the first guy blow the dad.
"We're you concerned about him being too young?", I asked.
"He calls his own shots", he replied simply. So I asked for more details. He watched his son blow the 2nd buddy, and he's watched his son jack off on other occasions. I asked if the two guys were hanging out at the same time, and he said no, it was on two different occasions. I asked if, on the second occasion where he watched the son blow the buddy, did he play with the buddy too? He did.
I ask if they jack off together often. If the son likes watching the dad jack off. If I am asking too many questions. "Not too often, yes, no", he replies.
I'm surprised by how excited I am by this conversation. I'm surprised by how turned on I am, by how rock hard I am, which chatting with this guy about him and his son. I tried to ask if it was actually a threesome, and his answered seemed to imply it was not. I ask how turned on he got by having his son watching a guy blow him. He said he was, and by seeing [his son] totally aroused and stroking himself through it. The son has also watched the dad blow a guy. But, apparently, they haven't crossed the threshold of watching each other fuck.
That's when he says it would be hot for me to fuck him while his son watched. My dick is straining my jeans, and I have to keep adjusting myself in my seat.
The conversations starts to fizzle when I don't immediately answer yes to his question of would I let the son suck me off. I ask more about the son's sexuality (bi) and his (more gay than bi). I ask about conversations he's had with his son about sexual activity outside of their shared experiences. They seem to have an extremely open and close relationship. Duh. We talk a bit more about one day meeting up at the bathhouse and what would happen. Then, like other unfulfilled chats on sex apps, the conversation stops.
For me though, that was just the beginning of weeks of deep thought and exploration.
As I said, I was taken off guard by my own reaction to this scenario. I am not into younger. Sure, the guys in the photos that I post to this site are almost always younger than me, I'll admit that. I wouldn't categorize any of them as 'jail bate' though. The thought of having sex with anyone near the age of consent, or under, is a turn off.
Now, exhibitionism, yes. I am definitely a fan! Voyeurism, hell yeah! So, I'm thinking that is why I got so turned on by the idea of having this Dad type suck me off while his son watched.
I also can't deny the taboo aspect of it, and maybe that is why I reacted the way I did. Later on, I mentioned to my newfound friend that the way my heart pounded in my chest doesn't happen to me very often, at least not sexually. It happened the first couple of times I had sex with a girl. And, much later in life as some of you have read, it happened the first time I had sex with a guy. So, that is why I got so turned on by this idea.
I was chatting with another buddy on Scruff. This guy I hadn't met in person, yet, but plan to. And a day or two after my interaction with Exhibitionist Dad, we were have a conversation. Somehow it turned to erotica. I love reading erotica, and I've written a little myself, aside from recounting my experiences here. He shared with me some of what he's written, and the main motif is obvious; incest.
His works are fiction, but they centered around teenage brothers playing together. What a coincidence this timing, and I'm reminded of the 'red car' phenomenon. I asked some questions about it, and we started chatting about father/son incest. He shares with me that a son 16 years old or older is fair play, in his view. At that age, boys are only thinking about sex. And if, say when a father is having the birds and the bees conversation, the son shows interest in experimenting, why not?
So that get's me thinking about fathers and sons. I'd be lying if I tried to convince any of you that I never thought about my own father in that way. I grew up in a split home, around almost all women and girls. I didn't live with my father during my sexually formative teen years when I started noticing my attraction to men. But I did visit and I spent summers with him, and he was really the only male in my life. It was not uncommon to see my father or his girlfriend naked, having lived with him when I was younger and, like myself today, he felt no shame or necessity to cover up. My Dad could have easily been described as a hippie. Added to that, I had also seen him have sex. The way our house was laid out, I had a clear view into my father's bedroom from my own. There were plenty of times that I would be awoken in the middle of the night by noises, and both our bedroom doors would be open, and I could see all. This was before I reached double digits in age. And, for a time, I was obsessed in trying to see all that I could.
Fast forward to my formative teen years, I went out of my way to try to catch my dad naked, and to try to catch him in sexual situations. I also regularly raided his porn stash. I even found a gay porn magazine at one point, a nice one with all high gloss pages showing two men fucking in a locker room that is permanently burned into my memory banks. Top Man, if I remember correctly, but I could never prove it belonged to my dad. Some of his stash obviously belonged to his girlfriend (different girlfriend than from earlier).
So, yeah, I've had sexual fantasies involving my dad. I can't say that I necessarily fantasized about having sex with my father, maybe I did. I definitely fantasized about watching my father having sex, about jacking off with my father, about having my father watch me have sex. I would have loved to have received that kind of sexual education. Did I just discover the root of my exhibitionism and voyeurism?
Oddly, though, my dad never attempted to have the 'sex' talk with me. It certainly would have been nice to be able to talk to someone about it. I don't think I ever would have admitted my attraction to men. But, who knows, especially if he admitted the same. That is a question I would love to ask him now, if he were still with us.
So, now, I've got father/son incest on the brain. I start seeking out erotica and porn showing these situations. I'm both surprised/not surprised by how much incest porn I am able to find so quickly. Apparently, it is a popular fetish, and I had no idea; Father/son, Uncle/Nephew, Brother/Brother, etc. I am starting to think it is a much more mainstream than I had ever imagined. I mean, yeah, I knew that being into "daddy" types was common. I guess I just never gave it much more thought that. I think that is why the conversation with the other dad was so exciting, not the part where it involved a minor. The porn and erotica that I've been enjoying have involved consenting adults. I've come across stories involving minors, and, thankfully, those have been a turn off and each time I quickly move on to something else. Also, thankfully, none of these feelings have transferred to my own son in any way.
I don't really know where I was going when I started this post. I think I just needed to write it and get it out of my brain. I am curious on your thoughts on the subject. Would you care to share your reactions, good or bad?